


I get around (Adult Version New York Style)

by merle_p



Series: I get around (aka Pimping out Kurt Hummel: 9 drabbles) [11]
Category: Glee
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Pre-Slash, Sexual Fantasy, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1578500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merle_p/pseuds/merle_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all. Kurt is in New York, the city of love and possibilities. And sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love and Validation

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a follow-up to this drabble series I wrote, like, 4 years ago, and I have no idea what made me revisit it now – possibly it’s because I’ve been feeling so nostalgic about fandom recently, and because I actually really enjoyed the last five episodes of Glee, something I didn’t think was possible anymore. Anyway, Kurt’s all grown up now, but he’s still my little black dress-character in Glee, and I still think he doesn’t get enough action, so there you go.  
> I should point out that these ficlets might not make much sense to you if you haven’t seen the New York episodes, since it’s all codas and interludes. Also, those who know me are probably aware that no canon pairing is sacred to me - fair warning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt/Rachel, Interlude to 5x17 “Opening Night”**

“You know,” Rachel says sleepily. “When you said you were going to fill my cup with love and validation, this is not what I thought you had in mind.”

“Well,” Kurt says, fondly. “You do feel more relaxed now, don’t you?”

“Very,” she says, sounding like she’s on the verge of nodding off. 

“Good.” He wipes his right hand on the rumpled sheets before patting her on the shoulder. “Naptime now, and I promise to wake you with plenty of time to get ready.”

“Thank you,” she says, snuggling deeper into her pillow. “You really are my best friend.”

“You are welcome,” he says, “as long as I can expect the same when I have my first Broadway show.” 

“Count on it,” she says, and then she’s out. 

 

In the living room, all eyes turn toward him when he emerges from behind the curtain. “And?” Tina asks, expectantly. “How is she doing?” 

“Sleeping,” he says. “I got her to calm down.”

Sighs of relief all around, and Blaine smiles broadly. “I knew you would know what to do with her,” he says. 

“Well,” Kurt shrugs. “That’s what friends are for, right?” He drops onto the couch next to him, curls up against his side, and makes a mental note to put Blaine’s vibrator back in the drawer before his boyfriend notices that it’s missing.


	2. Abstinence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt/Sam, Coda to 5x16 “Tested”**

“It’s not that I don’t love Mercedes,” Sam says, “really, I do.”

“Hmm,” Kurt makes, noncommittally. It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before.

“And I really want to wait for her, but _dude_ ,” Sam sighs. “I have needs, you know.”

“Uh-uh,” Kurt grunts, a little less patient. 

“I just really don’t know what to tell –“

“Sam,” Kurt interrupts, and Sam falls quiet abruptly, although if it’s due to Kurt’s stern voice or the sudden loss of suction on his dick, is hard to say. “Sam, do you _ever_ shut up during sex?”

“Uh,” Sam says. “I’m not sure.” He pauses. “Please don’t stop, though. That felt great.”

Kurt sighs. “Are you familiar with 69?” His hand, in the meantime, is back on Sam’s cock, moving back and forth idly as he speaks. 

“Like, 70 minus 1?” Sam asks distractedly, and Kurt sighs more deeply. 

“You are lucky you are pretty.” 

As it turns out, a cock in his mouth is enough to keep Sam quiet for about fifteen glorious minutes. Kurt relishes the quiet, and the orgasm, and counts the lesson as a success.


	3. Band Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt/Elliott/Dani, Coda to 5x10 “Trio”**

“Not that I’m complaining,” Elliott says. He sounds breathless. “But what about Blaine?”

Kurt licks along the curve of his ear, bites down gently on his lobe. 

“He cheated on me first,” he says, and his breath ghosts over Elliott’s neck. “I’m just evening the score.”

“And what about Santana?” Elliott asks and curves his fingers around Kurt’s jeans-clad ass reflexively. 

Dani sinks deeper into her armchair and moves a hand between her legs. “It’s not cheating when you’re just watching,” she says. She slips a finger inside herself and arches her back. 

“Alright then,” Elliott says, voice rough. He quickly shoves Kurt off his lap and looks at him for a moment, spread out on the floor, on his back, already looking debauched. “We’ll call this a team bonding experience.”

Kurt simply stares up at him with dark eyes, and Dani chuckles quietly. “To One Three Hill,” she murmurs. “Best band practice ever.”


	4. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Artie/Kurt, Coda to 5x16 “Tested”**

“So what do I do next?” Artie asks. 

Kurt takes a deep breath and wills himself not to stare. “Putting a condom on is really not that difficult,” he says. “Even Brittany figured it out eventually. Or so I heard.”

“Not while we were sleeping together,” Artie says, and Kurt puts his face in his hands. 

“Remind me again how I got stuck with the responsibility of your sexual health education?” 

Artie shrugs. “Because you were the only one who managed not to slut-shame me through an entire course of antibiotics?”

Kurt looks at him from between his fingers. “Wasn’t there something else?”

“Well, I also offered to get us tickets to ‘Aladdin’,” Artie says. He is still holding up the condom with two fingertips and now shakes it slightly to draw Kurt’s attention. “So what now?”

Kurt drops his hands and straightens his spine. “Well,” he says, resigned. “It usually helps if you are actually hard.”

“Okay,” Artie says. “I may need a hand with that.”

“Right,” Kurt exhales. “Just let me text Rachel. I have a feeling that this is going to take a while.”


	5. Safety Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt/Stage Combat Instructor, Interlude to 5x16 “Tested”**

"So," Patrick, the instructor, smiles widely. "You really like stage combat, huh?"

Kurt is still out of breath from their one-on-one practice session, and sweating profoundly. He feels fantastic. "Of course," he agrees easily. "It's great."

Patrick's smile shifts into something different. "No," he says. "I meant, you really, _really_ like stage combat." 

His eyes only flick downward for a split second, but Kurt suddenly feels himself growing hot, and it has nothing to do with the exercise. He quickly positions the shield he's still holding in front of his treacherous crotch, but there isn't much he can do about the blush that's rising to his cheeks. 

"I'm so sorry," he stammers. "I really don't know –" 

"Relax," the coach says, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's the adrenaline. Used to happen to me all the time."

"You don't say?" Kurt croaks, and wills the ground to open and swallow him. 

"It's true," Patrick nods. His hand is still on Kurt's shoulder, moving in tiny circles, but now it's slowly making its way down his arm. "And from experience, I know that the best way to deal with it is –"

"A cold shower?" Kurt breathes, because his instructor is suddenly very close.

"- to let off some steam. Don't you agree?" 

There is nothing for Kurt to do but nod, faced with such superior logic. He closes his eyes when a calloused thumb brushes his lips, and tilts up his head, expectantly – followed by the cold rush of dread when the touch disappears and he hears Patrick walk away. 

He opens his eyes. "What – where are you going?"

The coach is already at the door, but at Kurt's words, he turns around. "Nowhere," he says, and pulls the doors to the studio closed, turning the lock. Turning it twice. 

Kurt is still rooted on the spot when he walks back toward him, crowding him against the wall until Kurt's head hits the brick with a gentle thump. The shield drops to the floor with a metallic noise, and Patrick is even closer now, not even an inch of space between them. The air smells of danger, arousal and sweat. 

"Sorry about the holdup," his instructor says, and shows his teeth. "But you know what the first rule of stage combat is."

Kurt nods, and shudders, when hands come to rest on his hips. "Of course,” he whispers. “Safety first."


	6. Calendar Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt, sort of Jake/Kurt/Puck, Coda for 4x12 “Naked”**

He should just get rid of the calendar. It’s ridiculous, and he only had it on his wall last year because Blaine gave it to him, and really, he is too old for this shit: now that he’s actually having proper grown-up sex of his own and does not have to rely on fantasies. 

But every time he pulls The Men of McKinley out of the drawer, with the firm intention to trash the stupid thing, he flips through it, just one last time, or so he tells himself, and ends up getting stuck on Mr. June. 

Really, but Puck’s baby brother is hot. Muscular like his brother, just as handsome, and he’s even got the same bad-boy look that Kurt has a hard time admitting to himself he is kind of into. 

The best thing is that when he imagines Jake slamming him against the wall in the locker room showers, he doesn’t get that queasy feeling he did when he used to imagine Puck, sometimes, in dark and shameful hours – the fear that Puck would somehow know when he looked at him in Glee Club the next day, mixed with the disgust for even considering it, after everything the guy had done.

But Jake, for all that Kurt knows nothing about him, is certainly not that much of an ass, and so it’s easy to imagine him licking his way into Kurt’s mouth while his hands wander down Kurt’s back, inching closer to his butt. 

Kurt moans and runs his fingers over Jake’s incredible abs while the water is pouring down on them, hot and steamy, and he delights in the way Jake lets him take control, lets him spin them around, so that Jake is the one with his back to the wall. 

“Oh my god, Kurt,” Jake groans, arching his back, so that their cocks are sliding against each other, and Kurt thinks he probably won’t last long. 

There are hands on his ass, and a mouth on his neck, and it takes him a moment to realize that they don’t belong to Jake, who is still grinding against him. 

“Isn’t this a lovely surprise,” someone says, half-mockingly, very close to his ear, and Kurt does not have to turn around to know who the voice belongs to. 

He shivers and watches as Jake opens his eyes to look at something over his shoulder. “Hey, big brother,” he smiles lazily, a dangerous smile, and how did Kurt ever think that Jake was actually a nice guy? 

There’s a pressure against Kurt’s backside now, a steel-hard cock nestling between his cheeks, and the voice in his ear says predatorily: “Ever been double-teamed, Hummel?”

Kurt moans and shudders and can’t help but come – all over himself, the sheets tangled around his legs. 

“Uh,” he says, with as much disdain and self-disgust as he can muster in the wake of a mind-blowing orgasm, and with one foot, he pushes the awful, offensive calendar off the bed, to the ground.

“I really need to burn this thing.”


	7. Breakfast Bagels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kurt/Dave, near future-fic**

“Columbia, huh?” Kurt says, and side-eyes the college sweater that Karofsky is wearing, because of course it was too much to hope that turning gay would give him any kind of fashion sense. “Not bad.”

“Uhuh,” Karofsky says, sounding mildly embarrassed. “Who would have thought I could get into a decent school without an athletic scholarship, right?”

Kurt hums, vaguely, because he’s on the list of people who clearly didn’t think he could, and now it is making him feel a bit guilty.

The Saturday-morning line inside the cramped Bagel place is moving minimally, and people are pushing against them from behind. Kurt ends up being crowded into Karofsky’s side, almost stumbling, and Karofsky lifts an arm as if he’s meaning to put it around Kurt’s shoulders before he realizes what he’s doing and drops his hand, shame-faced. Kurt isn’t sure how to tell him that he didn’t really mind. 

“You look good,” he says instead, in what he hopes is a casual tone. 

Karofsky looks at him, clearly surprised, and then shrugs, self-consciously. “Less overweight, you mean?”

“Less unhappy,” Kurt says. Dave actually smiles at that, and Kurt smiles back without thinking. The line creeps forward another inch, and they move with the flow. 

“I’m glad you called,” Kurt says, eventually, and Dave stares at him for a long time. “Me too,” he says, and takes another step.


End file.
